Did you know that around 83% of divorce cases would be prevented if couples asked each other the right questions?
For people who have never used questions that were specifically designed for couples and other romantically attached individuals, the idea of “questions for couples” might seem strange, and even redundant. Why should anyone bother to ask questions when people can talk to their partners anytime… Or can they?
Current studies show that at the turn of the 21st century, evolving forms of electronic communication have steadily eroded actual, in-person human communication. People are finding fewer reasons to actually talk to each other; there are just too many distractions.
When people do communicate, they do so only out of convenience, and rarely do people stop to really have a dialogue. When you are in a relationship, your communication skills are just as vital as your actions. You can’t sustain a relationship if you do not know how to truly communicate with your partner.
Before using any type of question for couples, here are some tips to ensure that you will get the best results when having a real dialogue with your partner:
1. Practice active listening, and always remember that during a dialogue, you are not the center of the exchange. People who put themselves at the center during a dialogue often fail to understand the other person’s nuances, because they forget to actively listen.
The only way that you are going to make any progress is if you give your full attention to your partner. This doesn’t mean that you are not going to speak at all. It just means that before you speak, you fully understand what the other person was saying in the first place.
2. Don’t be in a rush to judge what your partner is saying. The biggest hindrance to a good conversation is blurting out things like “I can’t believe you did that!” You are free to evaluate the veracity or truthfulness of your partner’s words, but do so in a manner that will not paralyze the dialogue. You will have all the time in the world to process what your partner has said, after the conversation.
3. Ask the right questions, and in the proper tone of voice. Some people don’t know how to control their tone of voice, so they unconsciously project hostility or distrust when speaking to others.
The most comfortable and acceptable tone of voice is in the mid-range (not too high and not too low). This range works best if you are simply gathering information. You don’t have to be authoritative or domineering during a dialogue with your partner, so you can relax when you are speaking to him or her.
4. Be considerate when engaging your partner in conversation. Turn off your phone, and be genuinely interested in what he or she is trying to say. If you are already in a troubled relationship, it makes no sense to further alienate your partner by showing that you are incapable of really listening to what he or she is saying.